PhD in Being Me

Category: Self-empowerment

  • Empathy is my super power

    A beautiful sunset sky with purple, yellow, pink and orange clouds.

    The other day, I was having a conversation at work, and I said some very wise words that helped me to know that empathy is my superpower.

    We were talking about some people who seem superhuman because they can work 16 hour days for long periods of time. My colleague seemed like they were judging themselves for not being able to do that, and I said something like,

    You have superhuman powers at work even if you don’t work 16 hour days. You bring empathy, compassion, and understanding to your employees, and that is a superpower.

    I could tell it helped my colleague for me to recognize their awesomeness and it sure helped me. It is easy for me to judge myself for having chronic fatigue syndrome and for not having bountiful amounts of energy. It isn’t always easy to remember the wonderful ways that I contribute to the lives of those around me thanks to my empathy, compassion and understanding. I was grateful for a chance to be reminded of that.

    Living with empathy and leading with kindness and compassion are true bad ass ways of living. It is much easier to judge others, push them away or to “other” them. I know that because over the last 20 years I have been unlearning those habits and have been opening up to the wellspring of light, love, care and compassion that were always within me, just waiting to be discovered.

    If you are reading this, I am smiling at you! I am encouraging you and cheering you on! What might your superpower be? Are you up for taking a moment to acknowledge the good you do just by being exactly as you are?

    If you don’t know what your superpower is yet, may you have a joyful time discovering it. May you get a PhD in Being You each and every day as you get to know yourself better.

    I send you big hugs!

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.

  • Supported

    Tree tops with a pink and purple sky, with part of a rainbow above them.
    A beautiful rainbow during a sunset this past week!


    It makes such a difference in life to be supported. In the last two months at my work, I have been incredibly supported. It feels so very good! I’ve been learning a new job and putting together a project proposal for an innovative idea. It’s been a really busy time, but it’s felt so wonderful because everyone I’ve been working with has been so supportive, caring and kind.

    My last post was about meeting myself where I am at, and I wanted to provide the upside of how I’ve been feeling over the last month. Even though I was in a time of transition and challenge in my professional and personal life, not all of the transition and challenges were negative. In fact, I could feel how they were here to help me, even if some of the challenges were harder than I wanted them to be.

    The challenge of working on a project proposal was invigorating and fun. I had never done anything like that before, and I reveled in learning everything I needed to learn for that. It was so empowering for me to come up with an innovative idea, and to have so many people interested in sharing their feedback and ideas. I learned how challenges can help us grow, whether it’s because they’re fun challenges, or even unwanted challenges like I had, with our rescue dog really struggling after he got a cut. It sounds like such a simple thing, but my oh my, it was incredibly stressful.

    One thing I learned over the course of this month of transition was the power of asking “how” questions. I learned about this concept from this Matt Kahn video if you’d like to check it out. I’ll explain with an example. This morning, I found myself saying, “oh man, I am so exhausted, what am I going to do?” It is a question I ask myself often as a person with chronic fatigue syndrome. Luckily I don’t spiral in those unhelpful thoughts like I used to (but I still sometimes do!), but I learned how I could ask a “how” question to greater support myself and invite greater inspiration and support from the universe. I decided to try it out, so I asked, “how can I have more emotional, mental, energetic, physical energy in my life?”. Gosh, it felt so much lighter inside of me. Matt taught that it’s important not to look for an answer for that question, but to be open to having inspiration come directly to me.

    No matter where you’re at in your life, may you be supported in all the most beautiful and miraculous ways that will help you. May your challenges bring your growth, and may you be blessed with strength, no matter what types of challenges you are navigating. May you discover the power of asking “how..(insert what you’re looking for, with a positive spin, here)” questions. I’ll end with a how question of my own, “how may I write each blog post to help uplift, inspire, support and nourish my readers.”

    Thanks for reading and may you be well.
    Bradlee

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved

  • Bullied – a poem

    A notebook with the words, "stop bullying" with a heart.


    It brings a big smile to my heart to say that I’m sharing this poem below in honour of my friend Niveen.  We just reconnected recently and she inspired me to share this poem. In talking to her, I shared how my poems come to life, and I’d like to share that with you too.


    I’ve always been a sensitive empath who feels emotions really strongly.  I didn’t understand that for the first 30ish years of my life, but now that I know it, it’s been easier to learn what I need to feel good.  Writing out my feelings is a very helpful way for me to process them.  As I’ve mentioned before, I used to just shove those feelings down.  Learning how to feel them, give them space to be felt and to witness them has been a challenge for me, but a true gift because I know my feelings now.  They aren’t as scary as they used to be because they know I’ll take the time to feel them, get to know them and hold space for them.  Hmmm, I didn’t even realize I felt that way until I wrote it just now. Thanks Niveen!

     
    Usually I know I am feeling some big feelings because I feel an inner pressure, like how it must be inside of a volcano for weeks before it erupts.  I do my best to pay attention to that feeling.  Sometimes I talk gently to myself when I feel like that, and other times, I just get in front of the computer and let the feelings do all the talking through my fingers.  I sometimes cry or rage while I’m typing and I feel the pressure releasing the more I type.  I’m always amazed that the feelings seem to resolve themselves by the end of the poem.  There is also a pattern that I’ve noticed; by giving my feelings space and validity, then it frees up my inner wisdom to come forward and guide me with loving words to a conclusion.  If you’ve read a few of my poems, you’ll notice that they often have a loving, peaceful resolution at the end.  Every time I write, it’s like I’m learning to be my own best friend and supporter from the inside out.  That is truly what getting a PhD in Being Me is about.  Not trying to do what others do, but connecting so deeply into what works best for each of us.


    And now, here is my poem, Bullied.  I have felt this way at so many times in my life.  With each time, I find more courage, strength and inner fire to speak up for myself, realize when enough is enough, and find safety.  It is a true honour and privilege for me to be growing through my experiences. 

    May this poem help you and may you know how worthy you are of being respected and accepted for who you are.  Big hugs!



    Bullied – a poem


    Here I am

    Feeling bullied, disrespected and not listened to

    I don’t know how people can be at such odds with one another

    It’s like a cycle of force and struggle and I feel like I am the only one to see it

    What the heck is going on

    Why can’t we all just get along

    Why do I have to do what I’m told or what others expect of me, even if it goes against my values and my thoughts of what is best

    How in the world can I feel good while being put in these situations time and time again?



    I guess it comes down to not being a victim and breathing deeply.

    Knowing that who I am and how I care for me is more important than anything else.

    I don’t think I need to put up with shit, but I also don’t need to get overly involved either.

    It’s so sad, but it seems to be the way to survive and find the light to thrive.

    I’m not sure how to go about this, but I’m going to breathe, acknowledge myself, ask myself to come along and see what happens next.

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2022-2023. All Rights Reserved

  • Lightning and thunder

    Lightning in the sky over a body of water.
    Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.c

    Lightning and thunder – a poem

    These are new feelings for me

    Crackling and burning under the surface of my skin

    Anger and rage wanting to burst out through every aspect of my body

    Exhausted at myself for all the limiting ways I have been relating to life

    For all the power and strength that I buried deep within me

    Mistaking them for anger and aggression

    They are rising up

    Grabbing me by the soul and demanding to be released

    Demanding to be let out of the prison I accidentally created for them

    I thought the doors were open

    That I had flung them wide a few months ago

    But here they are, power and strength raging within me like a thunderstorm

    Deep breath

    Pause

    Take off my rain coat

    Put down the umbrella

    Open all the windows and doors and let the storm rage

    Let it come and cleanse me and release me from the shackles I unknowingly put on

    Deep within the prison cells of my mind, body and spirit

    Thank you thunder and lightning

    Thank you for reminding me of my strength and power

    Thank you for living under my skin and waking me up to the true power of my beingness

    I welcome you thunder and lightning

    Light up my skies

    Liberate me from my prison

    Help me bring healing to the world with your lessons, freedom and power

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.

  • Lovely things to say to yourself

    A wooden boardwalk with hearts lining it on either side.
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    The dogs woke me up at 4:45am this morning and I was pretty irritated at first. I was amazed how quickly I turned my irritation around by saying lovely things to myself. As I walked down the hall to let them out, I said, “You’re doing such a great job, Bradlee,” and “You are such a caring person.” I felt the irritation lift and I was even able to go back to sleep after.

    Are you interested in being kinder to yourself? In saying lovely things to yourself? Especially saying those words you wish others would say to you? I first learned about how to do this in 2015 after watching this inspirational video by Matt Kahn. It’s a long one, but super worth it. It truly gave me the inspiration and easy suggestions to learn how to witness my life and to validate myself while I live it.

    In the spirit of sharing and uplifting all readers, I will share a list of things I find myself often saying to myself. I always feel better when I do this. If I don’t feel better, I ask myself what I need to receive instead, and that usually breaks through the anger, despair or whatever I’m feeling. I’m learning, day by day, to be an expert in being me. I really hope these words inspire you to get a PhD in Being Me too!

    Examples of lovely things to say to yourself:

    • Hey, you just did an awesome job washing the dishes, way to go!
    • Thank you for vacuuming, especially since you were so tired. I really appreciate you.
    • You nailed that presentation at work today honey, woohoo!
    • I’m so proud of you, you used your voice to speak up about your boundaries so well.
    • That was a really good, clear email you wrote at work. Well done!
    • Way to take a few minutes to lie down, breathe and relax before moving onto your next task.
    • You did a great job pulling food out of the freezer to make sure you could make healthy meals.
    • You did such a good job honoring yourself today. You recognized you had limited energy, and you ordered groceries online, and cooked simpler foods for meals.
    • You spoke up about what your intuition told you instead of doubting yourself! Nice work. I hope you know how trustworthy you are going forward!
    • I’m so proud of you for recognizing that you needed time to yourself today and for taking it.
    • You did a good job relaxing while you were walking the dogs. You also were a rock star in keeping them from pulling you to the back of the forest.
    • You are such a tender, sweet and caring person. You are very good at loving your family and caring for others.
    • I can tell you are strained and anxious right now. I super honor you. Is there anything I can do for you?
    • Oh man, you are doing a great job of thinking massively resentful thoughts. Is there something I can do for you? I know there’s still laundry to do and dishes to wash, but you matter more.

    These are just a sample of things I may say to myself at various points in the day. I need to say these lovely, caring things to myself especially on days when I am really tired or feeling anxious or overwhelmed. I’d greatly welcome comments about which of these feels good to you or what you say to yourself that makes you feel good!

    Let’s do this! Let’s choose to honor and love ourselves! Let’s choose to be kind to the most important people in our lives, but especially ourselves.

    Big hugs! xoxoxoox

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023.  All Rights Reserved.

  • Unhinged

    A pink sunrise
    A pink sunrise

    Recently something inside of me has opened up.  Like there was this part of me I was keeping tucked away, in a locked box.

    I was just sitting outside in the sun when I realized that not only has the box been opened but it is unhinged.  In my haste to open it and rediscover lost parts of myself, I must have broken the hinges.  Thank goodness for that.

    The older I get, the less I want to be society’s version of who I think I should be, and the more the true, deep and authentic me is roaring to be free.

    Typically we think of ‘coming unhinged’ as a bad thing, but not in this case. I feel empowered about the hinges being broken. I feel like I have outgrown a really small cage and I am ready to prowl through more life with more fire, energy and passion than ever before. 

    Thank you box and hinges.  Without you, I wouldn’t get this sweet taste of liberation I am savoring today.  The irony is I think I am the one that boxed up and locked away these strong and powerful parts of myself.  I even remember the few times I chastised myself and buried the stronger, angrier parts of me.

    Today, I am more whole and am rejoicing in being unhinged. Today, I understand why I buried parts of myself and I am ready to forgive. Today, I stretch my limbs and feel a new drive, power and passion and I am content.

    With every moment of every day, may we all be blessed with the clarity, inspiration and courage to get a PhD in Being Me, and may we do so as authentically and gently as possible.

    With love ❤️!

    ©️ Bradlee Zrudlo, 2023. All Rights Reserved.

  • Shedding more than just my skin

    A green and white striped snake curled up on a branch.
    Photo by Stephen Joel on Pexels.com

    Today, I feel like I am a snake who is getting ready to shed my skin. Except that I I don’t want to just shed my skin, I want to shed more.

    I want to shed my old, victim like ways.

    I want to shed this safe resting place that I have taken shelter and refuge in.

    I want to shed this fear and the echoes of trauma that keep calling and calling to me.

    I want to shed this little prison and its shackles so I can explore the rest of me, the rest of life, the entirety of my potential to grow, expand, shine and make a beautiful difference in the world.

    Here I am, like the snake in the picture, except, I have one eye open.

    That eye is looking outward, feeling the fire and rage within and it’s gauging if today is the day to shed it all.

    I take a deep breath in. I smile and roar within me and open both eyes and climb off that safe branch.

    I stretch as far as I can, both into and away from myself.

    I feel the layers of the old, flaking and crumbling off of me as I slither and stretch and climb up, and up, and up to a new view point on life.

    I start to feel more free, less encumbered, weighed down and trapped by the confines of my previous existence.

    I open my mouth and feel a roar coming up from within me. A roar that makes no sense because up until now I’ve been a roar-less snake who has been curled up, safe and protected from harm and from my past.

    But today, I have shed my old self and I am a lion. A proud, strong and gorgeous lion with a roar that shakes the trees and sends ripples into the oceans.

    A female lion roaring. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is wide open.
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    I am a lion, one who has walked the Earth for millennia, bringing new life, power and strength to all who see and hear me.

    I am a lion, fierce, proud, and scarred from battles but ready to stand strong and fight for myself and for those who are healing. The ones who are curled up and incubating in the echoes of their past until it is their time to shed the old and walk the Earth anew. Afire. Awash with their strength. Full of roars and power. Just like I am becoming today.

    Here I am Life. Hear me roar. I am Mighty. I am ancient and brand new. I am both a whisper and a mighty roar. I am it All, re-arisen from the ashes of my past, with a new body, new skin, new image, and new confidence. I am roaring and I am glorious.

    To those who can’t yet roar, I am here, roaring, prowling, and making the path clear and safe for you, for your emergence, for your shedding and for your transformation.

    For you and for us, I roar. In honor of our collective pain, traumas, and past, I roar. Peace be with you as you rest, incubate and heal. I will be here, ready to rejoice when we can roar together and set our world free.

    A close up of a male lion's face. He is beautiful, strong and fierce.
    Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.

  • Ambassadors

    A gorgeous sunset in Kemptville that reminded me of the glory and strength within the hearts of all

    From 2015 to 2018, I was so deeply inspired by the massive spiritual and personal growth I was going through. I would often just be making a meal, sitting, or working and then I would be filled with some words that I just had to type out very quickly. As I understand it now, the divide between my inner wisdom and my awareness was getting smaller and I was being guided from within through these poems.

    I remember the day I wrote Ambassadors the poem below. I was on my lunch break and I was going to start making myself some food. I was drawn to a notebook and I wrote out this poem and then just kept going on with my day. Later on when I typed it out, I realized how beautiful, deep and profound it was. If you have been going through any type of spiritual growth or awakening, may this bring you some comfort and guidance. Alternatively, if you have been working on finding yourself and living your true life, then may it also help you find what makes you feel your best.

    Thanks for reading and may you be well! xoxoxoxo

    Ambassadors – a poem

    We are ambassadors to a new world.
We grieve, we cry, we rage and we hate
because we see and feel the mess we are in as humanity.
Your grief, tears, rage and hatred are a blessing to the world.
Without them, what would change?

You already know in your soul and your bones that you were born
to usher in a new world.  It is okay to have forgotten it, I did.
Do you feel it calling to you from within?
Do you notice how people live so automatically,
without question, like drones?
Is your body asking for a change in food, routine or job?

These represent You calling out to You to wake up,
to breathe, to rise up, to soar and to learn more about you,
so you and all of your gifts can be shared with our world
that so desperately needs them.

This is the era of self-care,
the time to get to know yourself better,
to give yourself supreme care, nourishment, love, compassion,
gentleness and tenderness.

It is time to rise up my dear ones.
It is time to turn back to you,
to be strengthened, nourished and replenished to carry out
your mission of being an ambassador to the New Earth,
to the new way of relating to the self and to the self in all.

Spend time with you, put down your device, magazines, newspapers, etc.
Just be with yourself, even if you are uncomfortable.
Notice your feelings and offer yourself love.
Try being with yourself instead of avoiding you and how it feels to be you.

Become the superhero of your own life,
rescue yourself from your own suffering first, 
then you can step into being an ambassador more fully.

Work with your body, learn what foods it wants, how much sleep it needs,
and if you need to take more conscious breathing breaks.
Care for yourself and let the universe fill you with your next steps.

You’re never alone.
It just starts with you.  Know you are capable and worthy;
if you don’t, be kind to you, just as you would to a little seed
you planted in a drought.
The rains and sunlight of your attention are all that is needed to help you,
as the seed, to blossom.

Just as a baby forms through the codes in DNA and the magic of creation,
you can grow and blossom into all of you, 
embodying the magic of creation, of the universe, within you.

Care for yourself and see that all of you has been patiently waiting for you
to notice so that you may blossom.

Care for you and all the instructions you need will be revealed as they are required.

Honor yourself, dear one, and the rest will follow.


© Bradlee Zrudlo 2022. All Rights Reserved.

  • Victimhood

    Photo by Dmitriy Ganin on Pexels.com
    Victimhood - a poem

Hello victimized one

Hello to the one who feels like a perpetual victim

Hello to the one who is waiting to be a victim

Hello to the one who can no longer discern between a threat and a strong personality

Hello to the one who senses that there are additional boundaries to put up but doesn’t know what they are or how to find them

Hello to the one who so desperately wants everything to be okay so they don’t have to feel so unsafe

Hello to the one who wants someone from the outside to be our chief validator, someone who can say “you are doing great” and “you are perfect just the way you are”

Someone to say, “it’s okay if you’ve gained weight, it doesn’t make you any less of a person”

Someone to say “I totally see the good you do each day and yes, sometimes life doesn’t seem fair, and I applaud you anyway”

Someone to say “yes, things about your life suck sometimes and things are quite frustrating”

Someone who says “you are valid even if you feel like shit or feel like an angry raging beast”

Someone who says “I am always with you, I am your eternal companion and witness and you are never alone”

Someone who can gently lift up my chin and turn my gaze towards myself, the beautiful, tender, sensitive one that I am, and who says, you don’t have to look any farther than this, you are loved

Hello you

I see you

I honor you

I love you

I love you through your struggles, through your molting, through your fears, through your internal imprisonment

Rise up my dear one, you really are so committed to your life, to yourself and to getting stronger

May you always hear my voice from within, honoring and praising you  

May you know that I am always with you, loving you, cheering you on and rooting for you

May you feel and know your power
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    Note about this poem: I have related to life like a victim for as long as I can remember. This poem was my way of owning that perspective and then finding more strength within me than I knew was there.

    To all people who are victims or survivors, I honor you. I see you. I am with you and I love you. May we all rise up and find internal safety and healing. May that safety radiate out from within us to keep us and others safe wherever we walk in our lives.

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2022. All Rights Reserved.