At some point during the last several years, I started looking down when I walked to make sure I wouldn’t trip or fall. I have been very delicate and vulnerable mentally and physically so looking down makes sense, even though I have been far from an age where a fall would have been catastrophic.
I knew I was doing this, but I hadn’t realized just how much that was reflecting how I felt in the world. How I needed to watch out, be careful and keep an eye out for potential hazards.
In the fall of 2025, I did an exercise my art therapist suggested to help me focus a bit more outward. I was nailing the “meeting my needs” bit and she suggested I look more broadly at my needs from a physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social perspective. I wrote about my initial efforts with this homework in September https://phdinbeingme.ca/2025/11/10/boundaries/.
Since that time, I notice that it is easier to look up when I am walking. Easier to notice aspects of my life that have been neglected due to my health limitations. Easier to see more of me and life’s possibilities, even while I am unwell with chronic fatigue syndrome and mental health challenges.
And so, I am finding it easier to remember to look up and ahead, to remember that I am more than my tough days, and that I have survived each tough day so far, and I can do it again. I can work, slowly but surely, to create safety in my body, mind and heart and celebrate when I give myself kindness and compassion. I can write what’s in my heart because sharing stories matters and reminds us that we are all connected in our humanity, even if our experiences are different.
Wherever you are, whether you are looking down or upward, I send you smiles, care and kindness!
Big hugs! 🌸🌟💖 Bradlee
©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2026. All Rights Reserved.
PhD in Being Me 