PhD in Being Me

Tag: community

  • Space for everyone

    The Grand Canyon in Arizona


    Sometimes I catch myself blaming someone for how I feel.  Then I realize, maybe there is enough space for me and that other person to both be having a hard time.  I think, “maybe it doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” or “you versus me.” 


    I’ve been experimenting with the idea that life is so much more than binary.  So so much more.  And so, if everything is on a spectrum, doesn’t that mean that there is enough space for everyone to be themselves, exactly as they are?


    What if me and someone else are both suffering at the same time?  I am not taking up space that prevents them from suffering. Our mutual suffering doesn’t negate or cancel the other’s experience.  So, isn’t there enough space for both experiences to exist and be valid?


    My identity and my experience of life doesn’t take away from the experiences of those who are physically and mentally healthy.  My experience and the rawness that I share about it may make some people uncomfortable but it can never take away the space and right for them to live their life or for me to process mine.


    This realization makes me feel a lot more compassion for the experiences others go through.  There isn’t a scarcity of space for the human experience, so why do we act like there is?  Why do we think only some ways of being a human are acceptable, when we can’t cancel or negate the space that exists for everyone.  But we can and have created and promulgated so many systems of oppression that remove space and validity from certain groups of people and make it so their very existence is criminal, threatening, and wrong.  But it’s not. 

    The main things wrong are how our society is structured on scarcity of space, blaminh, fearing and shaming others, and the incessant need to prevent discomfort instead of leaning in to connect with others who have different experiences to learn, share and grow together. Today, I am feeling like we can lift the veil and see more clearly how much space there is for the whole gorgeous expanse and variety of the human existence.


    In our increasingly hate filled and divisive world, please know that there is space for all of us.  In our hearts, we know this.  The world is big enough for us all, if only we can put down our need to shame, blame, separate and “other” people.  It is time to stand in our hearts, breathe deeply and create a world where there is space for everyone, but no space for bigotry, racism, discrimination, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, hatred, misinformation and war. 


    In my heart, there is space for everyone. Will you join me in holding space for this beautiful world, where there is space for everyone and no one feels threatened by people living their lives authentically?  I hope so 🥰.  Thanks for reading my thoughts.

    Big hugs, Bradlee

    ©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2025.  All Rights Reserved.

  • Oversharing?

    12 hands in a circle

    Last week, I was buying some dog treats from a local boutique pet shop.  They are so friendly and they have a great variety of unique treats.  I was having a nice exchange with the two people at the cash and one of them said they often overshare and that they’d stop talking now.  I laughed and said, “I am great at oversharing, do you want to hear about my therapy appointment from this morning?”

    After that, we had a super open, vulnerable, and honest exchange about life’s ups and downs, which local therapists we recommend, how helpful therapy is, about our kids, university, and more.  I left the shop with my heart full and happy, and I wondered, was that oversharing or just sharing?

    I reflected to my son that what we shared and talked about could only be considered oversharing in a society such as ours, where we keep all our feelings and hardships locked inside.  What kind of a world would it be if we openly talked about our feelings and were taught how to validate our feelings and those of others?  Imagine if we were taught how to hold space for each other instead of falling back on judging, competing, and criticizing one another?  Gosh, that would be so so blissful.

    What do you think more open sharing would change in your world, life or home?  What do you wish people talked about more?

    With every breath we take today, may we anchor blessings of greater emotional and physical safety for all those who want to open up and share more and all the best supports possible as they uncover any hurts 💖💖💖.

    With care and hugs, Bradlee ✨️✨️❤️♥️

    ©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2025.  All Rights Reserved.