PhD in Being Me

Tag: kindness

  • Looking up and ahead instead of down

    A winding pag through trees with orange, red and yellow leaves.

    At some point during the last several years, I started looking down when I walked to make sure I wouldn’t trip or fall.  I have been very delicate and vulnerable mentally and physically so looking down makes sense, even though I have been far from an age where a fall would have been catastrophic.

    I knew I was doing this, but I hadn’t realized just how much that was reflecting how I felt in the world.  How I needed to watch out, be careful and keep an eye out for potential hazards.

    In the fall of 2025, I did an exercise my art therapist suggested to help me focus a bit more outward. I was nailing the “meeting my needs” bit and she suggested I look more broadly at my needs from a physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social perspective.  I wrote about my initial efforts with this homework in September https://phdinbeingme.ca/2025/11/10/boundaries/.

    Since that time, I notice that it is easier to look up when I am walking.  Easier to notice aspects of my life that have been neglected due to my health limitations.  Easier to see more of me and life’s possibilities, even while I am unwell with chronic fatigue syndrome and mental health challenges.

    And so, I am finding it easier to remember to look up and ahead, to remember that I am more than my tough days, and that I have survived each tough day so far, and I can do it again.  I can work, slowly but surely, to create safety in my body, mind and heart and celebrate when I give myself kindness and compassion.  I can write what’s in my heart because sharing stories matters and reminds us that we are all connected in our humanity, even if our experiences are different.

    Wherever you are, whether you are looking down or upward, I send you smiles, care and kindness!

    Big hugs! 🌸🌟💖 Bradlee

    Photo of Bradlee smiling, wearing a pink winter hat in front of a snow covered field.

    ©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2026.  All Rights Reserved.

  • Helping others and myself

    The bottom arc of a rainbow
    A beautiful rainbow in front of my place this past spring

    I really like helping others.  I also really like helping myself and giving myself care, compassion, and gentleness. 

    Life has felt hard lately, probably because it has been really tough.  When times are like that, I feel myself rising to the challenge and other times, I feel myself getting smaller and in need of time to myself to rest, recharge and to feel sorry for myself.

    I am sharing this because I am still learning how best to take care of myself when times are tough.  Sometimes I nail self-care and I can balance everything and other times, I want to curl up in bed and let someone else be responsible for everything, including taking care of me.  Does that make me any less worthy?  Or does that just mean that I am tired, and in need of love, care and some support?

    I think it’s the latter, but sometimes I still blame myself or catch myself wishing I could be stronger.  I have a big heart, and I am astounded at the depth of compassion and care I give others and myself.  So when times are tough, I do my best to remember how special and caring I am, and to speak gently to the parts of me who are crying out to be held, spoken gently to and, most importantly, witnessed.  There is tremendous power in being a witness to myself in my darkest moments, and in being a witness for others.

    Being a witness means being there, not running away from difficult, painful or heart breaking feelings.  It means holding yourself (or someone else) literally or figuratively, with your arms or your presence, and giving assurance with that presence.  I am with you.  I see you.  I hear you.  I feel your pain and I am with you anyway.  I am getting teary just writing that, because isn’t that what we all want to hear, on one level or another.

    And so, in honour of all of my hurting parts and any of yours, I share the following:

    I am with you.

    I see you.

    I love you.

    You are not alone through this.

    Breathe deep my love, this will pass.

    I honour and celebrate you.

    You are so special.

    No matter what, I am with you.

    If you don’t say these things to yourself or to someone else, it doesn’t mean that you are abandoning anyone.  These are more meant as helpful things you can try whispering to your own heart to see how they feel.  Or you can try telling someone that you honour them as they navigate a difficult time in their life instead of just trying to get them to move on. 

    At our core as humans, I feel that this is what we need. To be witnessed.  Not to be fixed or changed, just witnessed.

    Helping myself and others makes me feel good.  It makes me feel like I am showing up for my life in deep, empowering and respectful ways. It makes me feel like I can heal my pain and trauma in gentle, loving ways, and like I can help others do the same.  Writing this reminds me to notice how I am doing and to be kind to myself, especially lately.

    I hope this post soothes any wounds you are feeling deeply.  I also hope it makes your heart feel lighter.  One step at a time.  One kind word to yourself at a time.  We’ve got this.

    Big hugs, Bradlee 💖

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2024. All Rights Reserved

  • A Compassionate Speaker

    Blue sky with bunches of delicate pink flowers.

    I had dreams of becoming a motivational speaker for the last several years.  I could see myself on a stage, talking to people, and sharing love, compassion, funny stories and the deep, messy and rawness of being a human.

    This afternoon though, I realized that my dreams have changed.  I no longer want to be a “motivational speaker;” rather I want to be a “compassionate speaker.” 

    Life is hard sometimes, and we can feel isolated and alone while we navigate those times, whether it’s days, weeks, months or years long.  I think what people need more of these days is someone to hold space for them while they go through the worst in their lives.  Someone to see them, witness them, and honour them with care and compassion.

    That is my new goal, and I wanted to share about it in my first post in quite awhile.  I really feel like the temperature has been turned up, literally and figuratively, on our planet, and now more than ever, we need to offer ourselves, and those around us, more compassion, grace and care.  It isn’t always possible to do this, and that is where a “compassionate speaker” may assist and remind us all of what we need and what we can do to care for ourselves. 

    Matt Kahn, spiritual teacher and “I love you guy,” has really taught me how to do this through his free videos, books and workshops, and I am forever grateful.  I would love to help others in the way he’s helped me.

    Maybe I will experiment with some short videos in my future posts about what being a “compassionate speaker” may look like for me.  At the same time though, I acknowledge that I try to write every post from that place, so maybe it’s just I am shifting in how I identify with what I offer, from my heart to yours ♥️.

    May you be well and may you be blessed with deep compassion.

    © Bradlee Zrudlo 2024. All Rights Reserved.