The other day, I was having a conversation at work, and I said some very wise words that helped me to know that empathy is my superpower.
We were talking about some people who seem superhuman because they can work 16 hour days for long periods of time. My colleague seemed like they were judging themselves for not being able to do that, and I said something like,
You have superhuman powers at work even if you don’t work 16 hour days. You bring empathy, compassion, and understanding to your employees, and that is a superpower.
I could tell it helped my colleague for me to recognize their awesomeness and it sure helped me. It is easy for me to judge myself for having chronic fatigue syndrome and for not having bountiful amounts of energy. It isn’t always easy to remember the wonderful ways that I contribute to the lives of those around me thanks to my empathy, compassion and understanding. I was grateful for a chance to be reminded of that.
Living with empathy and leading with kindness and compassion are true bad ass ways of living. It is much easier to judge others, push them away or to “other” them. I know that because over the last 20 years I have been unlearning those habits and have been opening up to the wellspring of light, love, care and compassion that were always within me, just waiting to be discovered.
If you are reading this, I am smiling at you! I am encouraging you and cheering you on! What might your superpower be? Are you up for taking a moment to acknowledge the good you do just by being exactly as you are?
If you don’t know what your superpower is yet, may you have a joyful time discovering it. May you get a PhD in Being You each and every day as you get to know yourself better.
Lately I have been more acutely aware of how there is a lot more to me than I thought. I have been using the imagery of our solar system and all of the planets orbiting around the sun to help me.
When I am lost in thoughts and am overwhelmed, I feel like I am the planet Pluto; orbiting very far away from the sun, my source of life and energy. Many times, I recognize that I am very far from my source and I stop what I am doing to give myself some self-care and to take some deep breaths. I find that is often enough to help me shift away from Pluto’s orbit and to move to an orbit closer to the sun.
This is a big metaphor, but I think it’s actually really helpful! Imagine this:
My attempt to explain what I feel about the whole spectrum of my being
Note: I have learned that Pluto is now considered a dwarf planet, but I grew up with it as a regular planet, so I’ve opted to include it to be sentimental to my inner child.
Each day, I strive to connect to my centre, the Sun in my solar system, but that doesn’t always feel possible. On those days, I do my best to breathe deeply, to be gentle with myself and to notice what is on the path of my orbit that day, no matter where I am at in my “inner” solar system. Sometimes the way I feel is unpleasant, but I am learning that feeling that way isn’t wrong, it’s just necessary at times. Without those times of being so far from my centre, how would I be able to appreciate it when everything is in perfect harmony and alignment?
For example, last night I had one of the worst sleeps I’ve had in a long time. I love sleeping, it is enormously helpful and really necessary, especially with chronic fatigue syndrome. I was feeling so many aches in my body and I felt all out of sorts when I woke up. Instead of getting up and dreading the day, I decided to follow along with a progressive muscle relaxation and listen to a guided meditation for a positive start to the day.
As I followed along with those recordings for 20 minutes, I felt my body starting to tingle and get warmer. It was like my body was helping me to see that by starting the day with self-care, I was moving myself closer to my centre, which was nourishing and helpful.
I find the longer I spend getting to know myself, the more of an expert I become on being me. I like thinking that I am as complex as a solar system and that each planet and its orbit corresponds to a different aspect of who I am. I don’t think I’m only meant to feel as strong, powerful and life-giving as the sun all the time. In my experience, I grow and evolve so much when I am stuck in one orbit for awhile, even as much as I may not like what I’m experiencing while I’m there.
Another way to look at this metaphor is to know that we are truly complex beings. If we only focus on one aspect of our lives, we will be out of balance. There are times when we need to spend more time on our career, and others when family life is most important. I think that is great and all of it works, but in my experience, getting nourishment from all aspects of me is very important. I strive to come back to a balanced place as often as I can, especially when I feel that my inner solar system is out of alignment.
With every breath we all take, may we each feel, acknowledge and sense where we are in our individual solar systems and discern what we need to learn and experience, no matter where we are in our lives. May we all know what we need to return to our life-giving centre to nourish and strengthen us for the days ahead.
PhD in Being Me 