Tag: soul
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To Be Human
Here I am, feeling fabulous after getting my hair done in December 2023 To be human.
What is it really?
Is it to be perfect, to have everything organized and controlled?
Or it is about acknowledging that life gets messy and choosing gratitude anyway?
Is it about having everything society tells me I should have?
Or is it about making the best with what I’ve got and dreaming big anyway?
Is it about doing what everyone else is doing and what they expect of me?
Or it is about following my intuition and my heart’s song regardless of how others choose to live their lives?
The older I get, the less I want to be any way other than exactly how I am.
Even when I don’t always like how I am.
I don’t always like having chronic fatigue syndrome and having to budget my energy and my time. I don’t like having to decline so many lovely invitations from people I care about.
I don’t always like how sensitive and anxious I am, especially when I get tired, which is often.
I don’t always like having to work because it uses so much of my energy and so little of my heart’s desires.
But I do like everything these aspects of my life have taught me.
To own who I am, from the inside out.
To know that I have tremendous worth even if I am super tired most days. My fatigue has taught me how to love and accept myself in ways I never dreamed possible. It inspired the idea of getting a Phd in Being Me, and made me want to share everything I’ve learned and continue to learn with others.
To know that I am worthy of love and nurturing when I am sensitive and anxious, instead of just wishing I was “stronger”. My sensitivity is my greatest gift and what allows me to write these posts and dream of becoming a motivational speaker and self-help author.
To know that I can let my heart sing at a job I only like, not love, because its song is so beautiful and it nurtures me. My job and its environment have inspired to live my life as authentically as possible, and to rest and care for myself when my environment tries to stifle my heart’s song.
To be human.
A lovely, caring, intelligent, dedicated, compassionate, empathic, tired, anxious, sensitive, easily stressed human.
I’ll take it and I’m choosing to make the best of my life. May we all be blessed with empowerment, inspiration, prosperity and abundance to live our best lives and inspire others as we do it, no matter how messy or imperfect our lives or we may be.
With so much love,
Bradlee
Here I am, writing this post, on a super tired day! To be human, it’s the good, the bad and everything in between! © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved
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Shedding more than just my skin
Photo by Stephen Joel on Pexels.com Today, I feel like I am a snake who is getting ready to shed my skin. Except that I I don’t want to just shed my skin, I want to shed more.
I want to shed my old, victim like ways.
I want to shed this safe resting place that I have taken shelter and refuge in.
I want to shed this fear and the echoes of trauma that keep calling and calling to me.
I want to shed this little prison and its shackles so I can explore the rest of me, the rest of life, the entirety of my potential to grow, expand, shine and make a beautiful difference in the world.
Here I am, like the snake in the picture, except, I have one eye open.
That eye is looking outward, feeling the fire and rage within and it’s gauging if today is the day to shed it all.
I take a deep breath in. I smile and roar within me and open both eyes and climb off that safe branch.
I stretch as far as I can, both into and away from myself.
I feel the layers of the old, flaking and crumbling off of me as I slither and stretch and climb up, and up, and up to a new view point on life.
I start to feel more free, less encumbered, weighed down and trapped by the confines of my previous existence.
I open my mouth and feel a roar coming up from within me. A roar that makes no sense because up until now I’ve been a roar-less snake who has been curled up, safe and protected from harm and from my past.
But today, I have shed my old self and I am a lion. A proud, strong and gorgeous lion with a roar that shakes the trees and sends ripples into the oceans.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I am a lion, one who has walked the Earth for millennia, bringing new life, power and strength to all who see and hear me.
I am a lion, fierce, proud, and scarred from battles but ready to stand strong and fight for myself and for those who are healing. The ones who are curled up and incubating in the echoes of their past until it is their time to shed the old and walk the Earth anew. Afire. Awash with their strength. Full of roars and power. Just like I am becoming today.
Here I am Life. Hear me roar. I am Mighty. I am ancient and brand new. I am both a whisper and a mighty roar. I am it All, re-arisen from the ashes of my past, with a new body, new skin, new image, and new confidence. I am roaring and I am glorious.
To those who can’t yet roar, I am here, roaring, prowling, and making the path clear and safe for you, for your emergence, for your shedding and for your transformation.
For you and for us, I roar. In honor of our collective pain, traumas, and past, I roar. Peace be with you as you rest, incubate and heal. I will be here, ready to rejoice when we can roar together and set our world free.
Photo by Alexas Fotos on Pexels.com © Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.
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Emergence
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com I wrote this poem in 2016 or so. It is very special to me, as it very beautifully describes how I learned to turn around within myself to find me. No preamble or explanation can really set the stage better than the poem itself. May it inspire you to further emergence of your most wonderful self. xoxoxoxo
Emergence – a poem
What if all the longing I felt my whole life was just so simple?
What if I thought I longed for another, when really,
I was just longing for myself?
For my own attention,
comfort,
care,
compassion and
love?
What if every time I longed to be passionate about a cause like my friends
or to have a boyfriend or
a romantic encounter,
all I really wanted was for me to turn around
and take a look at the beauty and rawness that was always there?
What if all of the external things were only traps
that I unknowingly fell into again and again,
feeling the press and pressure to fall in
from society
from family
from what is expected
and normal
and what should be done?
What if now I’ve fallen enough times?
What if I choose to be done climbing out of the holes and traps?
What if I choose to turn around,
to be bold and brave
and to embrace the me that has always been here;
the real me,
the one who has been patiently waiting for me,
the one who never longed, desired, craved or grew angry?
The one who accepted me and all of the distractions I got caught up in,
knowing that at one point,
its love, benevolence and grace
would catch my true attention.
What would happen then?
What did happen….
I learned to turn around and
I found a raw, pure and innocent part of my being that has always been with me.
It has an unbroken connection to infinity
to the stars
to the universe
to the divinity within all.
I went for it.
I stepped toward it and it has been entering me and filling me since.
Where it will take me, I don’t know, but I’m not falling, I’m only
cycling with the waves of emotion that are rising up within me
from such a radical
yet obvious
choice.
Through a willingness to have an open heart,
to live from vulnerability instead
of from fear and protection
and a realisation that all of my dreams had come true
before I had even noticed,
I turned around.
At that point, the gateway to my vulnerability opened
and it was gently guided by a beautiful soul
who whispered to me,
who helped me turn around and thank myself. He helped me
to realise the beauty in my own heart and
to feel the purity and innocence within me;
radiating and pulsing like a star about to be born.
I am grateful to be here.
I am grateful to be emerging.
May I fly like the firefly,
landing gently on the arms of my fellow brothers and sisters,
reminding them of the light that is within them…
if only they would just turn around
and look.
© Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.
PhD in Being Me 