Frost patterns that mirror the natural and raw beauty of what is described in my poem below
Reaching in, reaching out
I see an image of me reaching in.
Reaching inwards to the depths of my being, reaching to find myself.
I feel myself stirring, awakening and stretching.
I hear the giant yawn that slowly turns into a growl, then grows louder
And louder
Until it roars with the joy of its awakening.
I hear that roar and I smile.
I stand up straighter, taller and with more power coursing through my limbs.
My smile broadens as I know that I am now more whole, stronger, more complete.
I no longer feel like I’m reaching in, but instead, that I’m reaching out
That my long lost self is reaching out to me, thanking me for my patience while it slumbered, rested, and built up strength for the next phase of my life.
It is reaching out and upwards while simultaneously filling my entire being with its strength, power and wisdom.
With every breath I take, may I feel more united with this gorgeous, wild and untamed part of myself.
May I listen to its roar and its desires and hear its wishes.
May I know that I am the soft whispers I have been feeling for the last several years and this incredible new roar that has emerged.
I wrote this poem in 2016 or so. It is very special to me, as it very beautifully describes how I learned to turn around within myself to find me. No preamble or explanation can really set the stage better than the poem itself. May it inspire you to further emergence of your most wonderful self. xoxoxoxo
Emergence – a poem
What if all the longing I felt my whole life was just so simple?
What if I thought I longed for another, when really,
I was just longing for myself?
For my own attention,
comfort,
care,
compassion and
love?
What if every time I longed to be passionate about a cause like my friends
or to have a boyfriend or
a romantic encounter,
all I really wanted was for me to turn around
and take a look at the beauty and rawness that was always there?
What if all of the external things were only traps
that I unknowingly fell into again and again,
feeling the press and pressure to fall in
from society
from family
from what is expected
and normal
and what should be done?
What if now I’ve fallen enough times?
What if I choose to be done climbing out of the holes and traps?
What if I choose to turn around,
to be bold and brave
and to embrace the me that has always been here;
the real me,
the one who has been patiently waiting for me,
the one who never longed, desired, craved or grew angry?
The one who accepted me and all of the distractions I got caught up in,
knowing that at one point,
its love, benevolence and grace
would catch my true attention.
What would happen then?
What did happen….
I learned to turn around and
I found a raw, pure and innocent part of my being that has always been with me.
It has an unbroken connection to infinity
to the stars
to the universe
to the divinity within all.
I went for it.
I stepped toward it and it has been entering me and filling me since.
Where it will take me, I don’t know, but I’m not falling, I’m only
cycling with the waves of emotion that are rising up within me
from such a radical
yet obvious
choice.
Through a willingness to have an open heart,
to live from vulnerability instead
of from fear and protection
and a realisation that all of my dreams had come true
before I had even noticed,
I turned around.
At that point, the gateway to my vulnerability opened
and it was gently guided by a beautiful soul
who whispered to me,
who helped me turn around and thank myself. He helped me
to realise the beauty in my own heart and
to feel the purity and innocence within me;
radiating and pulsing like a star about to be born.
I am grateful to be here.
I am grateful to be emerging.
May I fly like the firefly,
landing gently on the arms of my fellow brothers and sisters,
PhD in Being Me 