blogging – Page 2 – PhD in Being Me

Holding space

A photo in space, of pink and dark purple matter, with darkness all around.

Well, here I am. I really feel like writing, and celebrating the desire to write.

I went for a cold, sunny sky walk with the dogs and I was filled with so much love and possibilities. I was given an opportunity to see the extent of the possibilities of my life in spite of my physical and mental health challenges.

I’ve been learning how to ride the waves of my emotions instead of being pulled into every feeling I have. I was flooded with fear just when I was passing a wide field with a horse and two cows and a tall tree full of singing birds. There was no immediate danger that I could see, in fact it was a beautiul scene, but I was terrified. For the first time, I felt that fear coursing through my body and was able to see the beauty around me. The horse was peeking around the wall of his shelter and was staring right at me. I held his eyes and then looked at the cute cows, and knew that I could be okay despite the intense feelings in my body.

Slowly but surely, and I mean slowly (!), I am learning how to build up my capacity to feel my feelings, and to be stressed and to know that I am okay despite it all. I’m also learning how to ride the waves of extreme fatigue that I have with chronic fatigue syndrome and to know that I’ll live through it. Being exhausted for years has really stressed out every aspect of my beingness. I am so grateful for my therapists, health care professionals and for the Primal Trust program, which is all about healing from the chronic stress response.

I’m focusing on celebrating my wins, crying when I need to, knowing that I can create trust within myself as I learn to tend to my nervous system and body in new ways. It’s taken a lot of tough living for me to get here, and I’m so loved, supported and cared for, so my hope for my future is justified.

I’m getting my PhD in Being Me each day that I listen to my body and mind and tune into my needs. I used to think that if I could do everything perfectly, everything would be fine. Now I see that it’s more about being who I am, exactly as I am, meeting myself where I’m at, learning, being patient, asking for help and loving myself.

I hope that you are inspired by what you need each day to get your very own Phd in Being You, because no one else is you and you are very worthy of caring for yourself and being supported.

Big hugs! 🌸🌟💖 Bradlee

February 23, 2026

Taking the pressure off

Me, my husband Robbin and Archie the dog

Honestly, have you ever seen a more relaxed dog? Archie is such a sweet cutie pie. I love this photo of him. It’s not the best photo of Robbin and I, but it sure showcases how relaxed, happy and at ease he is.

Archie teaches me and reminds me to take the pressure off myself. I sometimes forgot to be compassionate to myself while I’m on this journey of living with chronic fatigue syndrome. He is so relaxed, playful and goofy and he helps me get out of the worries for my future just by being his cute self.

He doesn’t care if I have chronic fatigue syndrome or not. He just wants to be pet, walked, played with and fed delicious food. And so, I thought I’d take the pressure off myself and think about what I want out of daily life. Maybe that will help me see that chronic fatigue isn’t actually preventing me from having a full life, but more that it’s my beliefs about it that are.

And so, here it is, what I want out of life:

Rest for my tired body
Quality time with my husband and son
A walk with the dogs
Chances to connect with friends and family
Mental stimulation from a good book, learning, a puzzle or other games, or a great show/movie
Opportunities throughout the day to create safety for my nervous system
Preparing and eating delicious food
Doing a chore or two for our wonderful home and belongings

That actually is pretty simple, isn’t it? I get all of that, every day. Isn’t that miraculous? Sometimes it really is just my perception of life with chronic fatigue that colors my experience. I’ll do my best to remember that! In fairness to me though, it is difficult to enjoy doing some of these things when I have so little energy or when my other symptoms are super strong. So some days, even though I get to do the things that make me happiest, it is just hard with how tired I feel. Okay, good, I’m glad I’m taking a balanced approach with this realization or else I’d just be putting more pressure on myself to enjoy every day, even on days where making a meal is too tiring.

And so, wherever you are, and whatever life is bringing you in terms of joys and challenges, may you be well, and may it be easy for you to reflect on what is good in your life and give yourself a hug for whatever is hard. A bit of both is a recipe for compassion, kindness and grace.

All my best! Bradlee 🌟💕

February 5, 2026

It all counts

Painting of a yellow sun with a red heart in the center, with a little Bradlee drawn in the middle.

No matter what your life experience has been or is today, it all counts. And it all matters. You matter.

Even if you wish things could have been different or if you’ve just figured out something that has been impacting your whole life, you matter and it all counts as valid life experience. Your life is precious. Your story matters. Your experience matters, especially if others have told you that you don’t matter or that you just needed to get over yourself.

I love connecting with people and hearing their stories. I love listening, asking questions, holding space and sharing. We all have such different experiences and perspectives and there is something magical when two people can sit and be witnesses for each other’s lives. One of the hardest parts of having chronic fatigue syndrome is not having the energy to do this as often as I would like. Instead, it’s been teaching me to do the same for myself. To hold space for me, and to be a witness for what is ready to be shared.

As I’ve been doing this, I’ve been seeing just how valid my life is, regardless of how unwell I’ve been. All of my life experience counts, none of it is less important or valid because I’ve been struggling. I wanted to write to share this message in case you needed it too 💖.

I am turning 46 next week and I have spent most of my life trying to be what others have told me I should be or what I felt I needed to be to be safe and to survive. This morning, I was feeling sad about my relationship with my dog and how it’s been rather tumultous because of my past. I love her dearly so I was hugging her and thanking her for sticking with me and being such a dedicated teacher. She’s been helping me reach some of the most hurt parts of myself.

Anyway, I was petting her and loving her and I realized that all of our experiences together count. It all counts, even if it’s been messy. I’ve been trying so hard to overcome my patterning and trauma and she’s been right there with me, encouraging me and being patient with me as she kept pushing me to get there. One day, I really think I’ll write a mini-book about my relationship with precious Maggie, but for now, I wanted to share how she inspired me to see that I haven’t lost anything. I don’t have to make up for lost time or try to catch up. Our relationship has been exactly what it’s needed to be and she is okay with that. She has held space for me to grieve, rage, grow, heal and do it all over again for the last 10 years. It all counts. She came into my life for a reason and it all counts.

And so, I take a deep breath and let it out. And again. I smile. I hug myself. And I know that there is peace in the messy and in my unraveling. No matter how you are doing, please know that you count, your life matters, all of it counts and all of you counts.

Peace be with you 🌟♥️🌟♥️, Bradlee