Writing for expression

I have recently learned about the value of writing out the tough feelings I have, without limits or censoring, and then ripping it up.

I was a bit skeptical at first, but there is something so freeing about writing with no limits until my hand hurts, and feeling all the emotion pouring out onto the page.  The tearing and ripping part is extremely satisfying too.

I’m seeing a nurse practitioner who is a functional medicine specialist and she said that it would help me in my healing journey to get my feelings out.  She even said that I may stay sick if I don’t get the feelings out.  I am a very self-aware person and I honestly thought I was processing my feelings and getting them out through the art therapy I am doing.  And there is no doubt I am, but it’s a different type of getting it out to write things I would never be able to say out loud, the deep, dark, really nasty things, and then tearing it up so I can let it go.

The first time I did it, I had no idea what I was going to write about, but then I just kept writing letter after letter to people who had made me feel uncomfortable, hurt or violated and all these powerful words, feelings and thoughts came right out onto the page.  I’ve probably done it 10 times or more now and it’s always very liberating.  Especially when I swear and say things out loud while I’m ripping the papers.  I even brought some of the paper scraps outside a few weeks ago and burned them, all while loudly cursing, and letting other words flow out and then I stomped on the ashes.  Oh ya, that was pretty damn satisfying.

It’s funny, because I’m a nice, gentle and caring person, but I also have a fierce, and powerful part of me, and that part came out and took the lead in helping me express these emotions that I banished to deep parts of myself because they weren’t “nice” enough to acknowledge.  Well, now I am acknowledging them and it feels good.  I feel like my power was lost when I hid those deep and dark feelings away, or maybe it just took a lot of power to keep those feelings locked deep inside me.  I’m not sure, but writing, ripping and tearing is helping me access them.  My art therapist was very supportive of the approach too, so the technique has the backing of a few health care professionals, which is neat!

Are there some scary or stagnant feelings that you want to let out and move on from?  If so, you can consider if you’d like to give this a try.  If you have lots of unprocessed trauma or trauma that you are processing, you may want to do it close to an appointment with a therapist or other mental health care professional or with a close condfidante so you can have any support if triggering feelings or situations come up in your writing. 

I find doing some gentle things after writing helps, like putting my hand on my heart and taking a few deep breaths and telling myself that I am here, or doing some havening, which is deeply comforting.  Havening is when you use your hands to gently rub your legs or your arms.  It may be other things too, but that’s what I’ve learned so far from how far I’ve gotten in my Primal Trust program.  Here’s a video of me doing the havening that I learned.  My cutie husband stands up at the end, so you may get a glimpse of him :).

I am really enjoying learning new ways of taking care of myself.  May you be inspired about the best ways for taking care of yourself and may we all remember that we are very worthy of healing, even if it’s been a long, long journey, like mine.

All my best wishes to you, 💕💕💕 Bradlee

©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2025.  All Rights Reserved.