The other day, I was having a conversation at work, and I said some very wise words that helped me to know that empathy is my superpower.
We were talking about some people who seem superhuman because they can work 16 hour days for long periods of time. My colleague seemed like they were judging themselves for not being able to do that, and I said something like,
You have superhuman powers at work even if you don’t work 16 hour days. You bring empathy, compassion, and understanding to your employees, and that is a superpower.
I could tell it helped my colleague for me to recognize their awesomeness and it sure helped me. It is easy for me to judge myself for having chronic fatigue syndrome and for not having bountiful amounts of energy. It isn’t always easy to remember the wonderful ways that I contribute to the lives of those around me thanks to my empathy, compassion and understanding. I was grateful for a chance to be reminded of that.
Living with empathy and leading with kindness and compassion are true bad ass ways of living. It is much easier to judge others, push them away or to “other” them. I know that because over the last 20 years I have been unlearning those habits and have been opening up to the wellspring of light, love, care and compassion that were always within me, just waiting to be discovered.
If you are reading this, I am smiling at you! I am encouraging you and cheering you on! What might your superpower be? Are you up for taking a moment to acknowledge the good you do just by being exactly as you are?
If you don’t know what your superpower is yet, may you have a joyful time discovering it. May you get a PhD in Being You each and every day as you get to know yourself better.
A cozy country road where I live with a gorgeous sunset
Several years ago, I heard a beautiful analogy that really applied to my life: the different types of roads and the speeds allowed on each one to understand the various phases of life.
Right now, I am traveling on country roads. I can speed up and get on a two lane highway for a short period of time, but then I have to exit, and drive onto the roads with a lower speed limit and no passing allowed.
As I have written before, having chronic fatigue syndrome has been a huge adjustment for me, and really, it still is. I remember all the super fun and amazing stuff I did when I had more energy. I loved the fast pace of life when I was younger, but I also really craved down time to rest and be by myself. Now, I know how to spend time by myself without feeling lonely, and I love being quiet, resting, and driving on the country roads of my life at a slower speed.
There are many aspects of life that I have missed now that I am not traveling on the highways of my life, but there are many things I was missing on those roads. Living life at a slower speed and with physical limitations has taught me to truly BE with myself while I live. I have a deeper relationship with myself than I did before; I have learned to trust myself, to know what food and habits are best for me, and how to advocate for myself.
Exiting the highway and taking the country roads has been a privilege, even though at times it has felt like I got a really bad speeding ticket and haven’t been allowed on the highway 🙃.
Finding the blessings on the country roads has been awesome. I am so grateful for what these country roads are teaching me. I am a stronger and more compassionate person thanks to my time on these roads. Wherever you are in your life, may your journey be blessed with peace, love, light, and healing, and may you appreciate the view, no matter what speed you live at ❤️❤️.
When I am in a micro stage of life, I focus on what’s closest to me in greater detail and I don’t have as much energy for the bigger perspective or activitiesWhen I am in a macro stage of life, my focus is much broader and I can see the bigger picture and I have more energy to explore
I am working towards getting a PhD in Being Me, and that means learning about myself, noticing what I am feeling, and adjusting as necessary.
Lately, I have really started to understand that I go through phases where I have a micro or a macro focus. I used some images above to try to illustrate my experiences in both phases. I will also elaborate with some examples.
Currently, I am in a major micro phase. I work each day and beyond that, I really only want to focus on taking care of my mind, heart, body and energy, and taking care of my family and home. I have tried using social media, but it’s like I have an aversion to it. More likely though, I am being called inward, and as a result, my focus is much more narrow, or micro (small). In the past, I might have thought there was something wrong with me, but now I can feel the call inward and the narrowing of my focus, and I honor it. I am smiling as I type this, it feels good to be getting to know myself more. It also feels good to notice my ever evolving experience of life. I had thought that staying steady was the hallmark of success as a human. I was so wrong, hence my smiling as I write this.
This summer, I was in a macro phase. I was excited about my new job, the project proposal I was working on, and the feeling of being able to swim a bit more than last summer. My chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms weren’t as strong and I loved being in the cool river water. I spent time with family and friends, and I could feel the future I dream about where I am a self help author and speaker. It was lovely. Partway through September, I started feeling the inward pull and the need for quiet and simplicity. Isn’t that beautiful? Neither phase is better than the other, they are equally valid ways of experiencing life.
Sigh…..deep breath…..relief. No self-judgement, just glorious space to be exactly as I am, exactly as you are.
Where are you in your life? Do you experience similar phases to mine or different ones? No matter how you are experiencing life right now, may you be blessed with peace, compassion, love and inner harmony.
With love ❤️, Bradlee
Ps, I listened to this song on repeat while writing this post. It is absolutely gorgeous. May we all be blessed to hold ourselves, no matter what we are living through.
A beautiful rainbow during a sunset this past week!
It makes such a difference in life to be supported. In the last two months at my work, I have been incredibly supported. It feels so very good! I’ve been learning a new job and putting together a project proposal for an innovative idea. It’s been a really busy time, but it’s felt so wonderful because everyone I’ve been working with has been so supportive, caring and kind.
My last post was about meeting myself where I am at, and I wanted to provide the upside of how I’ve been feeling over the last month. Even though I was in a time of transition and challenge in my professional and personal life, not all of the transition and challenges were negative. In fact, I could feel how they were here to help me, even if some of the challenges were harder than I wanted them to be.
The challenge of working on a project proposal was invigorating and fun. I had never done anything like that before, and I reveled in learning everything I needed to learn for that. It was so empowering for me to come up with an innovative idea, and to have so many people interested in sharing their feedback and ideas. I learned how challenges can help us grow, whether it’s because they’re fun challenges, or even unwanted challenges like I had, with our rescue dog really struggling after he got a cut. It sounds like such a simple thing, but my oh my, it was incredibly stressful.
One thing I learned over the course of this month of transition was the power of asking “how” questions. I learned about this concept from this Matt Kahn video if you’d like to check it out. I’ll explain with an example. This morning, I found myself saying, “oh man, I am so exhausted, what am I going to do?” It is a question I ask myself often as a person with chronic fatigue syndrome. Luckily I don’t spiral in those unhelpful thoughts like I used to (but I still sometimes do!), but I learned how I could ask a “how” question to greater support myself and invite greater inspiration and support from the universe. I decided to try it out, so I asked, “how can I have more emotional, mental, energetic, physical energy in my life?”. Gosh, it felt so much lighter inside of me. Matt taught that it’s important not to look for an answer for that question, but to be open to having inspiration come directly to me.
No matter where you’re at in your life, may you be supported in all the most beautiful and miraculous ways that will help you. May your challenges bring your growth, and may you be blessed with strength, no matter what types of challenges you are navigating. May you discover the power of asking “how..(insert what you’re looking for, with a positive spin, here)” questions. I’ll end with a how question of my own, “how may I write each blog post to help uplift, inspire, support and nourish my readers.”
Fall is a time of transition for nature and for us. May we learn to meet our needs with love and compassion whenever we’re in transition.
It’s been over a month since my last post. That’s the longest I have gone without writing. In truth, I missed it. In reality, I needed to meet myself where I have been at, and take some steps towards greater self-care.
How does one even go about meeting oneself where they’re at? In my experience, it means recognizing my circumstances and my feelings and noticing how I am doing. For example, in the past month, even checking my social media felt beyond my capacity, let alone posting or commenting on anything. I also noticed that I was more easily anxious, angry and overwhelmed. Those were all cues that helped me to know that I needed to make some adjustments.
I tried talking about my feelings more, taking more baths, getting into bed earlier, watching more fun shows, and reading more, too. I also tool more breathing breaks throughout my days, and cheered myself on. Those all helped me through, but I could tell that more was needed. It was almost as if the transition to fall was making all of my leaves fall off, and I needed to rest and be still during this time of change. I’d also been feeling like so many unconscious behaviors were coming to the forefront of my days, and it was uncomfortable and messy.
Meeting myself where I am at. That’s been me the past month, and I am proud of myself for making efforts to make my days gentler during this time of transition. Do you feel the need to meet yourself where you’re at, instead of forcing yourself to be somewhere else? If yes, I invite you to join me and explore your needs, one healthy choice at a time. Big hugs!
I am feeling empty Hollow I exist only as a shell of myself
I can feel the need to look for me On Facebook, Instagram, in the eyes of another In writing this blog post
I have been here before It is lonely and vacuous And nothing I think, do, eat, or consume seems to touch it or fill me back up
So I rest I lie down I listen to my self-love playlist I close the door and spend time with my shell I breathe and watch my belly rise and fall I smile because why not And know I will feel better through being kind to myself instead of running away and trying to find me on the outside
I want to blame others for how I feel But I know how I am feeling is no one's fault It is a simple signal to stop, breathe, be with myself and pull out of the endless cycle of doing and consuming more
With every breath I take today, May I nourish, rejuvenate, and revitalize all parts of me May the echoes of my self-care reach you, no matter where you are or how you feel May we all turn inwards to find our peace and ourselves Big hugs and deep beautiful breaths to you
I love snails. I often pick them up off the road and place them on the plants on the side of the road. I love watching how slowly and deliberately they move along a plant or the ground. They bring their homes wherever they go, and they seem to enjoy taking their time to get where they are going.
When I walk the dogs and I come across a group of snails, I always want to stop and just watch them. For such little, slow-moving creatures, they have such an ability to inspire and bring joy. They remind me that even though I move slowly with chronic fatigue sometimes, I can still inspire and bring joy.
A snail’s life is no less important than a fast cheetah’s, so it makes me wonder why I have put so much pressure on myself to get better and be faster than I am now. I have learned so much from having chronic fatigue syndrome. I am now more effective, efficient, and productive, and I excel at resting and paying attention to my precious body’s cues. Because I have limited energy, I use what I have wisely and only on tasks that matter to me and have high value.
I love how the cute little snails on my road gave me such an opportunity to validate and appreciate myself, even on days where I move slower than a snail.
No matter what pace you can go in your daily life, or how far you go, may you know that your life and you matter and are perfectly valid. Big hugs and thanks for reading.
You matter, no matter how fast or slowly you move through life
PhD in Being Me 