Finding confidence

The theme of my last few weeks has been finding confidence.

Finding my:

• self-confidence
• ability to be confident and clear with others
• inner confidence to live my life like I own it from the inside out.

The whole purpose of my blog is to share my journey with becoming an expert in being me, and this theme of finding confidence is a big part of me getting a Phd In Being Me.

In some ways, I am so very confident and capable and in other ways, I am very small, frightened, unsure and easily overwhelmed. I have these parts of me and they each interact with life in different ways. I have experienced both these last few weeks, so the difference between them has been rather eye-opening.

In December, I had an appointment with a therapist who told me that I am coming into my power after many years of being anxious and disempowered. She told me that it will take some time for me to become more confident and more able to use my voice to speak up more of the time. She also told me to not hit myself over the head with a big 2 by 4 when I’m not able to interact with the world from an empowered, confident place. She asked me to practice being patient with myself; that is something I have reminded myself of often and it really does help.

Last week, I felt my power and confidence emanating out of me. It was really special and wonderful to feel that way. I remember really finding that confidence during a walk I went on with our dogs. I was initially overwhelmed by how much our dogs were pulling on the leash during a walk. I then remembered that I am in charge and I don’t need to stay stuck in my default of being overpowered. Once I remembered that, my energy changed so much and I felt truly confident. My walk transformed from a battle into one of ease, excitement and enjoyment. It was so eye-opening and inspiring. The dogs can totally feel when I am in my disempowered place versus my empowered place and they respond to me accordingly. I really enjoyed experiencing so much more of my life last week from that empowered and strong place. I felt like I could accomplish anything and that I had a lot more strength within my heart, mind and body.

This week, I have been feeling more easily overwhelmed and not confident at all. I have bursts of confidence that have come through but it definitely has been only a small portion of the time. It is really fascinating and I’m grateful for how much more loving, patient and compassionate I am with myself now. It seems like I can’t always control whether I can live life from a confident place, but I sure can choose how I respond to the overwhelmed and disempowered parts of me. Lately, I have been telling them how much I love them, how important they are to me and thanking them for coming forward to share their pain with me. That always helps and allows me to give myself the love that I so crave when I’m not at my most confident or empowered.

It’s funny because if I had written this post last week when I was feeling very confident and empowered, it would have been very different. I guess this is the day I was meant to write it! I will make an effort to write again on a day when I feel super awesome so I can capture the difference.

With every word you read today, may you bring peace, harmony, unity and love to all the beautiful parts of you, no matter how good or bad they feel.

Thanks for reading! xoxoxoox

Bradlee

ps. I updated my poetry book page with a video of me reading a poem from the book. I invite you to check it out!