I wrote the poem below in April 2021. It is still so valid and really represents my journey in working towards a PhD in Being Me. It is very raw and vulnerable and makes me feel so proud of myself and how far I have come. May it inspire you too! xoxoxoxo
This is Me – a poem
Here I am Burst open Coming apart at the seams Feeling emotional, happy, destroyed and broken All at once This is me For years and years I have tried to manage myself Control myself Force myself Perfect myself And all along I was there Waiting patiently under the surface To be loved, seen, heard, valued and treasured Just as I am Here I am Me Anxious me Sensitive me Cautious me Daring me Chip eating and coke drinking me The me who swears The me who gets passionate about injustice The me who is always trying to do the right thing because I care so much The me who is so beautiful inside and out Here I am Me I have stopped trying to compartmentalize me Stopped trying to understand myself as a concept that can never be taught or mastered But can only be lived as me Holding my own hand from the inside out Smiling at myself through all of my weaknesses and strengths And moving forward anyway Even if the way I feel, think, act and am isn’t in line with the vision of the perfect person I have nearly killed myself to be. What if I’m just me Exactly as I am Just as I am No more, no less Just me? I think it would be liberating and it would help me end the endless cycles of abuse I’ve been swirling in. Today, I dare to do this. Today, I hug myself instead of berate myself. Today, I honor my battle scars and I tend to my wounds. Today, I stop trying to be anyone other than me. Today, I am just as I am. With every breath I take, may I anchor greater personal freedom, liberation and acceptance for myself, for my family and for the wellbeing and evolution of all. May you be blessed with the courage, strength and gentleness to be you, exactly you, just as you are. I am with you, doing my best and being vulnerable as the beautiful, sweet soul I am and may you feel loved, just as you are.
© Bradlee Zrudlo 2022. All Rights Reserved.
PhD in Being Me 