Bullied – a poem

It brings a big smile to my heart to say that I’m sharing this poem below in honour of my friend Niveen.  We just reconnected recently and she inspired me to share this poem. In talking to her, I shared how my poems come to life, and I’d like to share that with you too.


I’ve always been a sensitive empath who feels emotions really strongly.  I didn’t understand that for the first 30ish years of my life, but now that I know it, it’s been easier to learn what I need to feel good.  Writing out my feelings is a very helpful way for me to process them.  As I’ve mentioned before, I used to just shove those feelings down.  Learning how to feel them, give them space to be felt and to witness them has been a challenge for me, but a true gift because I know my feelings now.  They aren’t as scary as they used to be because they know I’ll take the time to feel them, get to know them and hold space for them.  Hmmm, I didn’t even realize I felt that way until I wrote it just now. Thanks Niveen!

 
Usually I know I am feeling some big feelings because I feel an inner pressure, like how it must be inside of a volcano for weeks before it erupts.  I do my best to pay attention to that feeling.  Sometimes I talk gently to myself when I feel like that, and other times, I just get in front of the computer and let the feelings do all the talking through my fingers.  I sometimes cry or rage while I’m typing and I feel the pressure releasing the more I type.  I’m always amazed that the feelings seem to resolve themselves by the end of the poem.  There is also a pattern that I’ve noticed; by giving my feelings space and validity, then it frees up my inner wisdom to come forward and guide me with loving words to a conclusion.  If you’ve read a few of my poems, you’ll notice that they often have a loving, peaceful resolution at the end.  Every time I write, it’s like I’m learning to be my own best friend and supporter from the inside out.  That is truly what getting a PhD in Being Me is about.  Not trying to do what others do, but connecting so deeply into what works best for each of us.


And now, here is my poem, Bullied.  I have felt this way at so many times in my life.  With each time, I find more courage, strength and inner fire to speak up for myself, realize when enough is enough, and find safety.  It is a true honour and privilege for me to be growing through my experiences. 

May this poem help you and may you know how worthy you are of being respected and accepted for who you are.  Big hugs!



Bullied – a poem


Here I am

Feeling bullied, disrespected and not listened to

I don’t know how people can be at such odds with one another

It’s like a cycle of force and struggle and I feel like I am the only one to see it

What the heck is going on

Why can’t we all just get along

Why do I have to do what I’m told or what others expect of me, even if it goes against my values and my thoughts of what is best

How in the world can I feel good while being put in these situations time and time again?



I guess it comes down to not being a victim and breathing deeply.

Knowing that who I am and how I care for me is more important than anything else.

I don’t think I need to put up with shit, but I also don’t need to get overly involved either.

It’s so sad, but it seems to be the way to survive and find the light to thrive.

I’m not sure how to go about this, but I’m going to breathe, acknowledge myself, ask myself to come along and see what happens next.

© Bradlee Zrudlo 2022-2023. All Rights Reserved