Done

Sometimes I am done.

I have nothing more to give, no more capacity to think things through, or to deal with differing opinions constructively or compassionately.

When I am in this place, I rest.

When cookies are finished baking, there is no point in keeping them in the oven because they’ll just burn. With people, it’s the same, and I have learned that the hard way.

When I start waking up super early with a racing mind, a restless body, and an overall unsettled feeling, it is my beingness telling me, “hey, the timer’s beeping, take me out of the oven.”

Today, I am honoring myself by recognizing this state of being by getting out of bed early, drawing a bath, writing about my experience and planning not to try to force my way through my day.

Note: as I wrote the last sentence above a few days ago, I knew right away that my plan wasn’t enough. I got into the bath and cried a bit and knew that I needed a day off of work. Even though I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I still sometimes find it hard to take a day off. Starting this post gave me the time and space within myself to actually reflect on my needs and to give myself permission to meet them.

I really like the analogy I started above about not baking cookies longer than they need or else they’ll burn. I definitely don’t want to burn myself out again, like I did in 2016.

May we all be blessed with the space, means and support we need to notice how we are doing, and to take the steps we need to care for and nurture ourselves when we are done. I believe it is okay to set the timer so the cookies come out of the oven before they burn, may we all be empowered and supported to do the same for ourselves.

Big hugs 💕

© Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved