When I write – a poem

When I write

Sometimes, when I write, the wisest and steadiest parts of me have something to share
And it uplifts and inspires me.

Other times, the most traumatized and fractured parts of me
Have something to say
And it’s painful
Difficult
And hard
But what they share is no less wise.
In fact, those feelings help me learn how to more deeply love myself
And hold space for myself.
Hmm, I don’t think I had recognized it like that before.

Today, I feel them both
And I am writing and creating space for them both to be here.
To share with me.
To enlighten me.
And to communicate their needs and wisdom.

And somehow, even though I’m just typing, I feel better.
I feel like I’m being with myself instead of distracting or abandoning myself through busyness.

I’m smiling because I’ve finally realized that my traumatized parts are no less wise.
They are incredibly precious and beautiful
And they teach me how to care for and nurture the parts of me that have fractured off as a way to survive.
How truly inspiring.  I had it all backwards.

I’ve been learning a lot about trauma in the past six weeks and it is helping me make sense
Of all that I’ve been feeling and experiencing in my life,
Especially in the last 10 years.
I’m so grateful for what I’m learning as it’s helping me to heal and reunite with myself more deeply.

Thank you to all of me, you are all my teachers and I love you.

© Bradlee Zrudlo 2024. All Rights Reserved