Delicate

Feeling like I am on thin ice

Unsure which move I can safely make

Will the decision I make leave me drained, emotionally and physically

Or will it fill up my heart’s cup enough to offset the fatigue that will surely come?

This delicate balancing act of trying to conserve my limited energy while still making sure I feel good with the life I am living despite my disability

Is tiring

It’s delicate

It’s wearing me down

Now that I have stopped and given myself permission to be exactly where I am, the true depth, delicacy and precariousness of my health is more evident

I keep going because to stop would be worse.  Completing chores, walking, doing mild exercises, running errands, talking to friends, family and neighbors, crafting, reading.  Those are all things I use my energy for.  It makes me so sad that sometimes just going for a walk is too much, or that spending time with friends makes me feel so good, but then I feel so much worse the next day.

Like I said, it’s delicate. 

I have been learning that there is true power in being vulnerable and owning my life from the inside out, even if I’d rather not have chronic fatigue syndrome.  And so I write and I share and I hope that my words help you feel seen and validated.

No matter what you are balancing, and how delicate it is, you are worthy of being seen, acknowledged, appreciated and respected, exactly as you are.  With every breath we take, may we anchor blessings for a more inclusive, accepting and respectful world.

With hugs, Bradlee 

© Bradlee Zrudlo 2025. All Rights Reserved.