My new true north

My inner compass has been re-oriented.

My focus re-directed.

My heart opened and filled with what’s been right in front of me all along.

Here I am, right here, where I have always been.

My life is not behind me, ahead of me or just around the corner.  It is right here, right now.

Every bit of my life matters, the mundane, the heart wrenching, the hilarious, the joys, highs and lows and everything in between.

My story matters, my life matters, exactly as it is.  It won’t be any more important if all of my dreams come true, or if I live my life exactly as it is each moment.

A significant part of me has thought that if only I could be better, get better, be different, than my life would mean more and would allow me to help more people.

The truth is, the best thing I can do is to sit down, right here, in the middle of the life I’m living and live it.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I’ve been the kind of person who loves people easily.  If I’ve made any type of connection with you, chances are I love you and deeply.  It’s a really sweet and admirable quality that I’m only beginning to really appreciate as the precious gift it is, and that I give to others (admittedly, I don’t give this freely to everyone, I’ve become more discerning over the years). 

I love helping people, making connections with them, holding them, uplifting them and cheering them on.  Over the last several years of ill health, the lack of being able to do that for others has been really hard.  But now I see that it’s truly my time to turn inward and to give all of those gifts that I so easily give to others to my sweetie self.

My life won’t mean more or have greater value if I get better tomorrow, in a few years, or never.  Each day, I’ll be living my life, hopefully with more presence, gratitude and appreciation since my realizations today, and that will be enough.  My story, my moments, my thoughts, my fears, joys, pain and excitement all add up to make my life.  And what a beautiful life it is.

We see movies, read books, and compare ourselves to others and wonder, am I doing this right?  Am I enough just as I am?  And today, I am recognizing that I am, just as I am.  I am good enough and I am doing things right, because I am me, no one else. 

This writing was inspired by listening to the audio book, “The Dutch House,” by Ann Patchett, narrated by Tom Hanks.  The book, which was a Pulizter Prize Finalist, was about ordinary people’s lives.  The whole book.  There was no action, mystery or anything, just a beautifully written and narrated story about some humans, being human and having a human experience.  And somehow, having that story read aloud by Tom Hanks gave it so much more validity and importance.  I hung out with a flawed family and Tom Hanks for 10 hours and my life as I knew it opened, crumbled and I was remade, ready to appreciate all that has happened to me, all that will happen to me and all that I am.  I am so humbled by this book.  It has touched me so deeply I have tears in my eyes as I type this.  This book has helped me find my own true north again and my heart is still feeling tender.  I’m in repair and am re-orienting and I’m so excited to see where my life points me to next.  Even if it’s just to fold the laundry or to rest and heal.

Thanks so much for reading. May you be well and may you inner compass guide you to discover all the majesty that you are.

xoxoxo Bradlee

©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2025.  All Rights Reserved.