Instead of getting all riled up by my feelings, like I was earlier today, I wondered if it would help me to think of them like a little “check engine” light. Nothing personal, nothing to fix, get over, analyze or heal from, but an indicator that some care is needed.
If you’ve been reading my posts lately, I have been writing about my changing relationship with my most complex and challenging emotions and feelings. I am learning how to allow my feelings, how to stay present with them, and to feel them as opposed to focusing on the events from my past that they likely stemmed from.
So, this metaphor came to me tonight. What if resentment, for example, is like a “check engine” light or a “check oil” light. One that reminds me that I need care (not a car service, tee hee). And that likely I have been sacrificing myself or not meeting my needs. That seems pretty simple. I felt some serious resentment over the smallest thing this evening before I realized that the last few weeks have been challenging and I needed rest. When I thought of it this way, I didn’t feel as angry and resentful, but instead, it was super easy to tell myself I had done more than enough today and that I should lie down and watch TV. It made a big difference to my experience of those big feelings. It gave me a bit of separation from them and made me feel mature, grounded and able to take care of myself.
This realization helped me acknowledge more deeply that I haven’t been feeling great all week, and that I have been doing an excellent job experimenting with how to care for myself during this stressful week. It’s easy for me to feel like a victim, and choiceless, but in writing this post and reflecting, I see that through small actions and choices this week, I showed up for myself, even when I got super triggered, exhausted and overwhelmed.
I am open to exploring those big emotions as a “check engine” light that is here to help me meet my needs in each moment. Tonight, I need to get into bed early, read and go to sleep!
Sweet dreams, 🌟♥️🌸, Bradlee
©️ Bradlee Zrudlo 2026. All Rights Reserved.
PhD in Being Me 