Emergence

I wrote this poem in 2016 or so. It is very special to me, as it very beautifully describes how I learned to turn around within myself to find me. No preamble or explanation can really set the stage better than the poem itself. May it inspire you to further emergence of your most wonderful self. xoxoxoxo

Emergence – a poem

What if all the longing I felt my whole life was just so simple?

What if I thought I longed for another, when really,

I was just longing for myself?

For my own attention,

comfort,

care,

compassion and

love?

What if every time I longed to be passionate about a cause like my friends

or to have a boyfriend or

a romantic encounter,

all I really wanted was for me to turn around

and take a look at the beauty and rawness that was always there?

What if all of the external things were only traps

that I unknowingly fell into again and again,

feeling the press and pressure to fall in

from society

from family

from what is expected

and normal

and what should be done?

What if now I’ve fallen enough times?

What if I choose to be done climbing out of the holes and traps?

What if I choose to turn around,

to be bold and brave

and to embrace the me that has always been here;

the real me,

the one who has been patiently waiting for me,

the one who never longed, desired, craved or grew angry?

The one who accepted me and all of the distractions I got caught up in,

knowing that at one point,

its love, benevolence and grace

would catch my true attention.

What would happen then?

What did happen….

I learned to turn around and

I found a raw, pure and innocent part of my being that has always been with me.

It has an unbroken connection to infinity

to the stars

to the universe

to the divinity within all.

I went for it.

I stepped toward it and it has been entering me and filling me since.

Where it will take me, I don’t know, but I’m not falling, I’m only

cycling with the waves of emotion that are rising up within me

from such a radical

yet obvious

choice.

Through a willingness to have an open heart,

to live from vulnerability instead

of from fear and protection

and a realisation that all of my dreams had come true

before I had even noticed,

I turned around.

At that point, the gateway to my vulnerability opened

and it was gently guided by a beautiful soul

who whispered to me,

who helped me turn around and thank myself.  He helped me

to realise the beauty in my own heart and

to feel the purity and innocence within me;

radiating and pulsing like a star about to be born.

I am grateful to be here.

I am grateful to be emerging.

May I fly like the firefly,

landing gently on the arms of my fellow brothers and sisters,

reminding them of the light that is within them…

if only they would just turn around

and look.

© Bradlee Zrudlo 2023. All Rights Reserved.