Well, it’s nearly the end of 2024, and I have deep thoughts to share as the year comes to a close. I grew up at a time where success in life looked a certain way, and I recently realized how much I was holding myself to those societal expectations. As a person with a disability,Continue reading “Changing Expectations”
Author Archives: Bradlee Zrudlo
Reflections
It is easy to not feel good sometimes. It is easy to amass all kinds of evidence about my shortcomings, failures and deficiencies. It is much harder, sometimes, to focus on all that is going well and all the good I bring to the world. A few weeks ago, I was sitting by the creekContinue reading “Reflections”
A pause
The older I have gotten (I am 44), the more I am giving myself permission to pause. A pause can mean many things, including: Am I an expert at pausing? Sometimes, and sometimes I rush and feel so much pressure that a pause is the last thing I think about. Learning about me from myContinue reading “A pause”
Witnessing myself
Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I feel like I wish I could be seen more deeply and completely. Sometimes I feel so tired it’s hard to do much. Sometimes I feel like my being is surrounded by mist and I need the sun to rise more to transform it. Today feels joyous and celebratory, butContinue reading “Witnessing myself”
Inspiration
I find it important lately to find inspiration from all possible sources. I have been worn down by circumstances in my life, and I have felt how dysregulated my nervous system is and how truly exhausted I have been in all aspects of my being. I have taken several months off work to take betterContinue reading “Inspiration”
Hard times
Things have been tough for me lately. Over the past few months, I have been learning more about trauma, the major impact it’s had on me, and how it is the root of so much of my struggles. I have been at low points in my life, but none have felt quite so low asContinue reading “Hard times”
Reconnecting to myself
Sometimes I hear my voice inside me and it’s loud and clear. Other times it’s like there is so much noise from the world that is making it harder to know who I am and where I stand. Today, I went for a walk in the woods and I heard the noise. I felt theContinue reading “Reconnecting to myself”
Helping others and myself
I really like helping others. I also really like helping myself and giving myself care, compassion, and gentleness. Life has felt hard lately, probably because it has been really tough. When times are like that, I feel myself rising to the challenge and other times, I feel myself getting smaller and in need of timeContinue reading “Helping others and myself”
Overwhelmed by my own needs
Yesterday I heard the title of this post inside of me, and I silently agreed with it. It is a sad thing to be overwhelmed by my own needs, so I did the following things: It felt great to take some pressure off of myself and to settle more deeply into being me, just asContinue reading “Overwhelmed by my own needs”
Reaching across
I am reaching Reaching across my inner divideTo the one who feels so unsafe and so unlovedBut I see I have been reaching in the wrong direction I have been doing so much to control my environment to keep myself safeAnd I have been talking nicely and kindly to myselfBut in this moment, I seeContinue reading “Reaching across”
PhD in Being Me 