If you’ve visited my blog before, you may know that I’m working on getting a PhD in Being Me. What does getting a PhD in Being Me mean these days while I am off work to take care of my physical and mental health? It means: May this post inspire you to give yourself aContinue reading “Being here”
Author Archives: Bradlee Zrudlo
Being nourished by my own voice
It’s been several months since I have written on my blog. I’ve been having a tough time and have needed (and continue to need) deep quiet time. Just this week, I remembered how nourishing it is for me to read my own words. I was feeling the nudge to write again, which I haven’t feltContinue reading “Being nourished by my own voice”
Delicate
Feeling like I am on thin ice Unsure which move I can safely make Will the decision I make leave me drained, emotionally and physically Or will it fill up my heart’s cup enough to offset the fatigue that will surely come? This delicate balancing act of trying to conserve my limited energy while stillContinue reading “Delicate”
The potato turning point
I have a beautiful life. I have the best family, a safe and cozy home, wonderful friends, and many other incredible blessings. At the same time, I am exhausted. I am also mentally exhausted from having chronic fatigue syndrome for several years and from trying to make it all work with such limited energy. IContinue reading “The potato turning point”
What If?
What if? I asked myself that question this morning. What if it’s okay to struggle? What if it’s okay to have chronic fatigue syndrome that can be deeply debilitating? What if it’s okay that I have been having a hard time these last several years? After all, what am I other than a human being,Continue reading “What If?”
Changing Expectations
Well, it’s nearly the end of 2024, and I have deep thoughts to share as the year comes to a close. I grew up at a time where success in life looked a certain way, and I recently realized how much I was holding myself to those societal expectations. As a person with a disability,Continue reading “Changing Expectations”
Reflections
It is easy to not feel good sometimes. It is easy to amass all kinds of evidence about my shortcomings, failures and deficiencies. It is much harder, sometimes, to focus on all that is going well and all the good I bring to the world. A few weeks ago, I was sitting by the creekContinue reading “Reflections”
A pause
The older I have gotten (I am 44), the more I am giving myself permission to pause. A pause can mean many things, including: Am I an expert at pausing? Sometimes, and sometimes I rush and feel so much pressure that a pause is the last thing I think about. Learning about me from myContinue reading “A pause”
Witnessing myself
Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I feel like I wish I could be seen more deeply and completely. Sometimes I feel so tired it’s hard to do much. Sometimes I feel like my being is surrounded by mist and I need the sun to rise more to transform it. Today feels joyous and celebratory, butContinue reading “Witnessing myself”
Inspiration
I find it important lately to find inspiration from all possible sources. I have been worn down by circumstances in my life, and I have felt how dysregulated my nervous system is and how truly exhausted I have been in all aspects of my being. I have taken several months off work to take betterContinue reading “Inspiration”
PhD in Being Me 