Author Archives: Bradlee Zrudlo

When I falter – an exploration of faith

In 2018, I went through several months of exploring my faith. I don’t have a religion, although I was baptized Christian. For many years now, I’ve been learning about God, Creator, the Universe in my own way, and it has felt really important and authentic for me. The text below was really about me tryingContinue reading “When I falter – an exploration of faith”

Who am I waiting for?

I wrote the words below in May 2019. I often wrote emails to myself, to try to sort out my feelings. Sometimes I find that easier than writing in a journal. I am so humbled to read these words, there I was, so broken after my mom had suddenly died a few months later, butContinue reading “Who am I waiting for?”

Destroyed

I wrote this poem in May 2021. I remember sitting and talking to someone as these realizations hit me and I knew I was witnessing my own destruction. I remember writing this and feeling soothed and knowing that I was okay, even as I was being destroyed. I remember knowing that everything, including me, wasContinue reading “Destroyed”

Beyond the Breaking Point

In my previous post, I wrote about being at the breaking point. It was a post overflowing with the rawness of emotion I was experiencing at the time. Writing that post gave me courage to be with myself when I was so angry, disappointed and violated. It helped me understand that I didn’t need toContinue reading “Beyond the Breaking Point”

The Breaking Point

I’ve been feeling more of my power coming to the forefront of my inner world lately and it’s been wonderful.  Today I had an experience that deeply insulted, offended and angered me.  After it was over, I felt like I was in shock, and I needed time to settle back into myself.  I was inContinue reading “The Breaking Point”

My humanness is divine

I wrote this poem in 2016-2017. I was having a really hard time bridging what I was learning about spirituality and what I hated about myself. It was through writing this poem and a few others that I realized I was resenting my “humanness” and was trying to rise above it. As I wrote thisContinue reading “My humanness is divine”

Literally overflowing with love

Living with chronic fatigue syndrome is sometimes at odds with who I am.  I am a big hearted person who loves to connect with others, share hugs, give compassion and acknowledgement and more hugs.  Being chronically tired means that I can’t always do that because I don’t have enough physical, energetic or emotional energy toContinue reading “Literally overflowing with love”

Shattered Innocence

Sometimes life is just so disappointing, so much so that one’s heart breaks and it feels like all the good inside has died. This poem is about those types of day. As I wrote it, it felt very sad and angry. As I kept writing, I felt like my shattered innocence was giving me aContinue reading “Shattered Innocence”

Unhinged

Recently something inside of me has opened up.  Like there was this part of me I was keeping tucked away, in a locked box. I was just sitting outside in the sun when I realized that not only has the box been opened but it is unhinged.  In my haste to open it and rediscoverContinue reading “Unhinged”